FOLLOWING THE LEADER - A Prayer

"You have led in Your steadfast love the people whom You have redeemed; You have guided them by Your strength to Your Holy abode." ~ Exodus 15:13

God Almighty, full of grace and mercy, it is in love that You lead us, may we always follow, knowing that wherever You lead us, it is out of love for us.  Help us not to get ahead of You and so drown in our own pride and foolish plans.  You have redeemed each of us for a purpose, lead us in Your will and ways.  Even when we are led to places that seem unbearable with obstacles insurmountable, may we rely on Your strength to guide us through.  Increase in us faith, so that we stop trying to take the lead, to do things in our own strength.  May we simply, faithfully follow wherever You lead.  Forgive us for when we get in front of You, instead may You oh Lord always be at the forefront, everything we do pointing to you - leading others to you, as we follow You. We ask this in the name of Christ. Amen

"The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in his way" Psalm 37:23

Watch and see what God will do.

"The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent" ~Exodus 14:14

The battles are not yours to fight, the war not yours to win.  God is in control, you need only to trust in Him.  Don't make situations worse by talking, gossiping, venting to others.  Don't make situations worse by arguing, defending, debating your position. 

Stop trying so hard! Stop and Listen.  Be Silent

God is not asking you to do anything - simply, "Fear not, Stand firm and see the salvation of the Lord, which He will work for you today" ~Exodus 14:13

FEAR NOT, STAND FIRM, BE SILENT - WATCH AND SEE WHAT GOD WILL DO

Rather give up life than give in to singleness?

I believe marriage is a wonderful thing, when two people come together in such a way that love is multiplied, their joys doubled, and burdens halved.  I believe marriage is a Godly thing, when each person is able, through their union, to pursue the plans and purposes God has for them.  I believe marriage is fabulous, when God is the center and the relationship finds them drawing closer to Him and closer to one another.

I have always wanted to be married and to have a family.  Perhaps even more so after becoming a Christian, when a desire was birthed within me to leave a legacy of Christ like living and loving, for my children to pick up and pass down generation to generation.

I still want to be married and to have a family, but more than this I have come to a place in my life and in my spiritual walk where I'm more than willing to surrender that desire, in exchange for what God desires for me.  Of course many of us say this. In fact I have thought this many times in the past about marriage, but I was never really committed to the idea.  I am now. It didn't happen over night, it took years, but I have more than accepted that it may be God's will for me that I remain single. I have actually embraced this possibility and see the benefits of it.

I didn't expect however, that embracing such a possibility would result in an outpouring of concern from some in the Christian community.  It's as if the family of God thinks I have given up on life.  No Cathleen, keep fighting, keep breathing, this is not the end - God has someone for you, hold on!!!!!!!  

Maybe God does have someone for me, and if so - Wahooooo!!!! bring on "Charles Ingalls", praise be to God!.  However if not, then Wahoooooo!!! Praise be to God, just the same.

Here's the thing, as much as I believe in marriage, I do not believe it's the be all and end all for Christian women. I've come to realize that perhaps my getting married would be a hindrance to the plans and purposes God has for me.  If this is the case, than I shall pass on wedded bliss thank you very much.  What God has planned for me, is better than anything I can plan for myself.

If I look back on my life, I can see NOW, the benefits of my singleness in my Christian walk, the breadth of ministry it has allowed me.  The single focus it has afforded me.  Perhaps this is God's plan for me, in order that I may be more effective for Him and others, not for just right now but forever. 

This is where I'm at, but we are all at different places along this journey, and  for some, right now, the thought of such a possibility for their life, elicits copious amounts of anxiety.  Admittedly the title of this blog is a bit of an exaggerated question, but for some it seems the thought of having to sacrifice their life for Christ, would be easier than having to surrender to a life of singleness for Christ.  This reminded  me of the story of the Rich Young Ruler and I found myself wondering how we would respond if Jesus said to us, "in order to grab hold of the abundant life I have for you, embrace a life of singleness and follow me".  Would we, at these words be saddened, and go away grieving, unwilling to give up our desires, for what God desires of us? Would we respond much the same way the Rich Young Ruler did when Jesus answered his question "What must I do to inherit eternal life", by telling him to sell all he owned and follow Him.

I am in  no way suggesting that it is better for all to be single, certainly not. I am affirming that it is best to place all our desires in God's hands, not holding to tightly to anything, lest we be unable to grab hold of all God has for us.  I do not know my future, whether I shall be married or not, but I do know that I can trust my future to God.  It is faith that allows us to be content in all things, a growing trust that allows us to relinquish control to the one truly in control and find peace in the places God brings us. 

So ladies, whether, single, married, dating or divorced, as Valentines Day rushes upon us, let's celebrate the God who loves us extravagantly and praise Him. May we grow in faith, and in the confidence of  knowing that the plans and purposes God has for us are better than anything we can dream for ourselves.

I'VE GOT SOME SPLAININ TO DO!

I don't know when it happened.  It certainly did not happen all it once.  It was not even a conscious decision.  Over the years I have just gradually transitioned into living a simpler life.  I have always had a thread of yearning for days gone by, for things to be slower and simpler, but it certainly was not evidenced in my lifestyle.  However as of late, the transition from consumer to minimalist (I have discovered the name of my increasing condition) has become more obvious.  So much so, that a panicked messaged from a beloved Aunt and a resulting conversation has warranted this post.

As 2012 ushered in, I began ushering out the clutter in my home.  Not a result of a New Year's resolution, as I did not make any of those, figuring my 36-4-36 challenge was more than sufficient.  I certainly had made no preconceived conscious decision to start getting rid of stuff, but that is what transpired.  

It began with purging my closet full of clothes.  Full to the point that I was always looking for hangers I didn't have, and physically forcing jeans to hang in the slight crack that remained beside the sweaters.  Then on to my dresser - up till now having to squish the shirts down so I could close the drawers.  Next my coat closet, hats that I have never worn, falling from grace as I slid open the doors.  In the end I had filled 3 boxes with stuff I didn't need, and still had more than I needed left over.  I posted a pic of my accomplishment on Facebook, thinking there may be someone in need who could use these things, and guess what - there was, the clothes are now being donated to a worthy cause.

I was fueled by the sense of freedom I had attained, endorphins compelling me to keep going, so next was my DVD's.  I went through them all - keeping only a few of my favourites.  I was able to sell 60 of them and pay off a bill earlier than I had expected, the remainder I donated to my church's lending library.  My CD's were daunting, hundreds of jewel cases, filled with everything from Techno and Rave to Opera and Classical and everything in between.  20 years+ of accumulated musical therapy, most of which I had not touched in 15 years.  Again I sorted through them, keeping a few favourites and boxed up the rest for interested individuals to take as they pleased.

There in my living room it loomed - the entertainment centre.  Which leaned just enough to the left to make it noticeable. Big - bulky - unnecessary, so out it went, along with the 5 disk CD player (which I am pleased will be put to good use by my Nephew's mom in her child care centre).  Both my DVD player and laptop work just fine for playing CD's.

Finally - at least for this round of decluttering, was to tackle my hope chest.  An antique trunk, filled with great memories and lots of junk.  As I went through, disposing of the clutter so as to better preserve the valuable memories it contained, I was taught many a lesson.

#1) Catching wedding bouquets is not a good indicator of your chances of being married (I found at least 3 in there) 

#2) The glory and identity that comes with winning medals will fade long before the writing on the medals 

#3) Grandmas are experts in grace when it comes to their grandchildren, and they make the best baby outfits (maybe one day I will get to use the one she made and gave me for when I have a daughter) 

#4) The McDonald's Flintstones T-shirt I placed in there in 1994 is now worth $30.

It was after posting these little anecdotes, that things became concerning for some. My Aunt, had been following my progress via Facebook and was the one to vocalize her concern by way of a message.  What is going on?  Why are you getting rid of all your stuff?  Do you need money? 

I panicked!  How do I explain the why?  She's going to think I am crazy.  I didn't need money, in fact except for the few DVD's I sold, I was giving everything else away. Admittedly,  I started out not knowing exactly why I felt compelled to do this - but as I went through the process it became very clear to me.  I was choosing freedom, I was choosing to take control over my life.  I was choosing what was important to me, I cherish memories far more than I do things - So I would rather expunge myself of stuff, so that I might have more resources available to create fabulous memories.  More than this I do not want money and things to become the stumbling blocks to my being able to do what I love.  For example, as a pastor I do not want my salary or a church's finances to determine whether or not I can afford to be in full time ministry - because that is what I love to do. So I choose to live in such a way that I have the freedom to serve regardless (more finances more opportunities to bless - less finances I can transition into a lifestyle that allows me to continue to serve regardless). 

After my Aunt and I talked she was comforted, knowing that, I've not gone off the deep end, I'm too young for a mid life crisis, and I wasn't under any compulsion or coercion.  In fact after I explained it, she could understand my motivation.  This transition is simply one of choosing what is important to me, and then creating a lifestyle that will afford me the opportunity to grab hold of it.  The process is no where near complete, there are many more drawers and cupboards to clean out - and many more lifestyle changes to be made, purging distractions, unnecessary accumulation & stuff from my life. Throwing off anything that hinders, or robs others. It has been a process free of regrets - and perhaps long overdue, with undoubtedly many more lessons along the way :D

IMITATE ME?

I was struck by a verse I read in my devotions.  It was from Paul who said in 1 Corinthians 11:1, "Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ."  It caused me to consider, do I live a life, privately and publicly, such that I'd be comfortable encouraging others to follow me because I'm faithfully following the example of Christ?  As a pastor, (or perhaps for you as a parent, as a friend, coworker, or as a family member) do I serve God and others, in such a way that I could have the confidence to offer such an invitation, trusting that it would bring God glory and be to their spiritual benefit?

Christ is our ultimate example, no man or other example will ever take precedence, however I am thankful for the couple truly faithful examples of great pastors, God has placed in my midst.  Those who demonstrate simply by way of their living, what it means to love and serve God and others well, not perfect but pressing in and pressing on. Pastors, who I know in following, will lead me closer to Christ.  Pastors who in following,  will demonstrate for me, what in means to walk in His will and ways.

I pray to this end, that God helping me, I may live my life, so that I could say with ever increasing confidence & authenticity: "Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ."

LEARN-LIVE-LISTEN-LOVE

I am not a great pastor, though I'm trying to be, God helping me. I recently spent the afternoon in visitation with a widow of a great pastor, and I found myself longing for what seems at times, to be the wisdom and ways of days gone by. I left our time together, keenly aware of just how important certain areas of ministry really are, and trying to discern what it is that makes for great pastors. I deduced it to 4 qualities that I believe are integral if one aspires to be a great Godly pastor.

1. Learn - A love of learning, specifically as it pertains to God's word.  Knowing how to think is arguably more important than knowing what to think.

2. Live - Living out all that we learn through God's word, striving to live as Christ lived, walking in His will and ways.  I've always respected pastors whose lives preached a better a sermon Monday to Saturday than their message Sunday morning.

3. Listen - The ability to hear the heart of God and others. That means faithful, intimate prayer in order to hear from God. As well as visitation and/or fellowship in order to hear the heart of others. I believe relationship building both with God and others, is integral to discipling and thus to being a great pastor.  Furthermore I have come to experience that relationship building only enhances our preaching, teaching etc, causing it to be more effective.

4. Love - Love for God and others, a real love evident by actions, a love without thought of return.

Nothing profound, quite simple really: LEARN-LIVE-LISTEN-LOVE

O' Christmas Tree, Do We Really Need Thee?

I have been thinking a lot this week, about Christmas Trees.

Perhaps it's because each time I log in to Facebook, my news feed informs me that another spirited individual has successfully planted a coniferous tree in their living room and adorned it with bright lights and sparkly tinsel. Perhaps it is the shock and look of askance I get, when people learn that I have never, in all my 18 years of living on my own, ever put up a Christmas Tree or Christmas Decorations.  It is not that I am against the putting up of a Christmas Tree, in fact I take great delight in the beauty of the Tannenbaum. For me it's always simply been a matter of circumstance and priority.  I am a single woman, no children, living on my own, to put up a tree just seems impractical.  I celebrate Christmas day with my family, so I'm not even home on the joyous occasion.  Money has never been so ample, that I thought a Christmas tree and decorations were worth the cost. I would rather spend that money on gas to visit someone I have not seen in a long time or taking a friend out for dinner.

I always told myself that when I get married, or when I have children, I will have a tree. I would carry on the tradition my mom started with her 4 children, of putting up and decorating the Christmas tree after watching the live airing of the Toronto Santa Clause Parade on Global.  I have, however, been questioning that logic this week and I think I have come to the resolute conclusion, that single or married, with children or childless, I will never be putting up a Christmas Tree.  Some might say I am a Scrooge, all bah-hum-bug about the season but really what does a Christmas Tree have to do with the true spirit of Christmas.

Christmas is about the gift we were given in Christ. His birth in a manager, living among us, growing up to be the Saviour of the world, ultimately sacrificing His life for ours.  Christmas is about sacrifice, giving up so others can have. 

I started to research the cost of Christmas Trees.  If you purchase a real tree, each year you will spend a minimum of $30 - $200.  An Artificial Tree is anywhere from $99.99 - $599.99 (Really $600.00 on a Christmas Tree).  Then you have the cost of ornaments, and garland, tinsel and the ever coveted perfect angel/star Topper.  Some may argue that you buy it once and then you are set, it's an investment.  True I suppose, if you are buying an artificial tree, but even then you are updating the ornaments and the accessories every year, and I have been to Hallmark and Walmart and they aren't cheap, and let's not forget the added cost to your electricity bill. It all adds up, in fact here are some of the numbers, $73.9 million - The value of farm cash receipts for Christmas trees in Canada in 2005. $196.2 million - The value of Christmas decorations imported to Canada in 2005. The bulk ($175.3 million) came from China, with Russia and some Eastern European nations supplying much of the remainder.  A lot of money spent on 60 days of fabricated beauty that symbolizes what exactly?

So with that in mind I am giving up any notion of ever having a Christmas Tree.  I am going to start a new tradition. At the beginning of November, I am going to legitimately estimate, what I would have spent that year on a Christmas Tree and/or decorations and then after the Santa Clause parade, I will go out (friends, spouse and/or children in hand), and we will purchase items to give away to those in need.  Maybe gift certificates for the homeless, turkeys for the local soup kitchen, or a thank you gift for someone who serves with our Fire Department.  Perhaps one year I will I simply buy random gifts and hand them out to random strangers (oh wait we are dong that this year - Video Post to come in December ). Perhaps I will start a "Tree Free Christmas" Campaign and encourage each person in my community to give the money they would have spent on a tree or ornaments in support of a local charity that I'm passionate about.

What I have come to realize is that I do not need a Christmas tree. In all my 18 years without one, I have never missed it, and as far as I can tell, no one else close to me has been traumatized by my not having one. If you love your Christmas tree, than, please do not take offense at my recent personal conviction. Should I happen to ever pass by your home, and see your ornately decorated tree, shining brightly in your window, I will not pass judgement but rather will enjoy the nostalgic memories and beauty it offers.

If you have read this post, and something is stirring within you, if this resonates in your spirit, why not consider joining me for a Tree Free Christmas. Want something a little more committal, jump in with both feet, and sell your artificial tree and ornaments on Kijiji, giving the money to a cause of your choosing.  Why not use Facebook or local media to start your own "Tree Free Christmas" Campaign in support of a charity in your community.

If you are thinking to yourself, I already give extra at Christmas time, thank-you. Thank-you for truly getting into the Christmas spirit.  Can I challenge you though? Can you give a little more? Could you, would you, for one year, give up the Christmas Tree, the garland, the ornaments, the topper, and take that money and spend it in a way that will brighten someone else's day?  Even if you only buy one new ornament a year, why not give it up this year, and give back to one more person in need. I know it will be a sacrifice - but I assure you, that the gift is in the giving.  Why not consider doing it this year?  Who knows maybe it will become a new tradition for you and your family as well.

Leave a comment and  let me know your thoughts? Do We Really Need Thee Christmas Tree?

Not a Fan...

I have never been much of a fan of "Church" curriculum, perhaps in part because when I first started in ministry I did not know there was such a thing, so I created my own (which others may not have been a fan of...lol), also because some of what I have seen has been trite or a reworked production of many that have gone before..

However at the recommendation of a pastor from our email list-serve,  I have recently been checking out this "Not a Fan" curriculum.  I first went to the site http://notafan.com and I enjoyed the testimonial clips and the preview of one of the powerful small group videos. So I am ordering this small group video study to use with our Young Adults and then implement it with our church as a small group study after that. 

Being a bit of a bibliophile I bought the book to read as I wait. I have only read the preface so far, so I can not give you a fair assessment but if the preface is anything like the rest of the book I am excited.  With that in mind let me share with you the preface (it's worth the read), perhaps it will resonate with you as well, and encourage you to check out the book.

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It's a Thursday afternoon and I am sitting in the church sanctuary.  It's empty now, but Easter is only a few days away.  More than thirty thousand people will likely come to the weekend services, and I have no idea what I'm going to say to them.  I can feel the pressure mounting as I sit there hoping that a sermon will come to mind.   I look around at the empty seats hoping some inspiration will come.  Instead there's just more perspiration.  I wipe the sweat off my brow and look down.  This sermon needs to be good.  There are some people who only come to church on Christmas and Easter (we call the "Creasters").  I want to make sure they all come back.  What could I say to get their attention?  How can I make my message more appealing?  Is there something creative I could do that would be a big hit and get people talking?

Still nothing.  There is a Bible in the chair in front of me.  I grab it.  I can't think of a scripture to turn to.  I've spent my life studying this book and I can't think of one passage that will "wow" the Creasters. I consider using it the was I did as a kid.  Kind of like a magic 8 Ball, you ask a question, open up the Bible and point to the page, and whatever it says answers your questions.

Finally a thought crosses my mind:  I wonder what Jesus taught whenever He had big crowds.  What I discovered would change me forever.  Not just as a preacher, but as a follower of Christ.  I found that when Jesus had a large crowd, he would most often preach a message that was like to cause them to leave.

In that empty sanctuary I read of one such occasion in John chapter 6.  Jesus is addressing a crowd that has likely grown to more than five thousand.  Jesus has never been more popular.  Word has spread about His miraculous healings and his inspirational teaching.  This crowd of thousands has come to cheer him on.

After a full day of teaching, Jesus knows the people are getting hungry, and so he turns to his disciples and asks what all these people will do for food.  One of the disciples, Philip, tells Jesus that even with eight month's wages , it wouldn't be enough money to buy bread for everyone to have a bite.  from Philip's perspective, there really wasn't anything that could be done. But another disciple, Andrew, has been scanning the crowd and he tells Jesus of a boy who has five loaves and two small fish.  Jesus takes the boy's sack lunch and with it he feeds the entire crowd.  In fact,m the Bible tells us that even after everyone had their fill, there was still plenty left over.

After dinner the crowd decides to camp out for the night so they can be with Jesus the next day.  These are some big-time fans of Jesus.  The next morning when the crowd wakes up and they're hungry again, they look around for Jesus, aka their meal ticket, but he's nowhere to be found.  These fans are hoping for an encore performance.  Eventually they realize that Jesus and His disciples have crossed over to the other side of the lake.  By the time they catch up to Jesus they're starving.  They've missed their chance to order breakfast and they are ready to find out what's on the lunch menu.  But Jesus has decided to shut down the "all you can eat" buffet.  He's not handing out any more free samples.  in verse 26 Jesus says to the crowd: "I tell you the truth, you are looking for me, not because you saw miraculous signs but because you ate the loaves and had your fill"

Jesus knows that these people are not going to all the trouble and sacrifice because they are following him, but because they want some free food.  Was it Jesus they wanted, or were they only interested in what He could do for them?  In verse 35 Jesus offers himself, but the question is, would that be enough? " Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life.  He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty""

Jesus says, I am the bread of life.  Suddenly Jesus is the only thing on the menu.  The crowd has to decide if he will satisfy or if they are hungry for something more.  Here's what we read at the end of the chapter: "From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him (John 6:66)"

Many of the fans turn to go home.  I was struck by the fact that Jesus doesn't chase after them. He doesn't soften his message to make it more appealing.  He doesn't send the disciples chasing after them with a creative handout inviting them to come back for a "build your own sundae" ice cream social.  He seems okay with the fact that his popularity has plummeted.

As I sat in the sanctuary surrounded by thousands of empty seats, here's what became clear to me: it wasn't the size of the crowds Jesus cared about; it was their lever of commitment.

I put the Bible back in the chair in front of me.

I cried.

God, I am sorry.

Almost, as soon as I said it to him, I knew it needed to go further.  A few days later on Easter Sunday, a crowd of thousands gathered and I began my sermon with a choked up apology.  I told the crowd that I was wrong for being too concerned with what they would think and how many of them would come back.  I think over the years my intentions were good; I wanted to make Jesus look as attractive as possible so that people would come to find eternal life in him.  I was offering the people Jesus, but I was handing out a lot of free dread.  In the process I cheapened the gospel.

Imagine it this way.  Imagine that my oldest daughter turns twenty-five.  She isn't married but she really wants to be.  I decide I'm going to help make that happen.  So, imagine I take out an ad in the newspaper, put up a billboard sign, and make up T-shirts begging someone to choose her.  I even offer some attractive gifts as incentives.  Doesn't that cheapen who she is?  Wouldn't that make it seem that whoever came to her would be doing her a favour?  I would never do that.  I would set the standard high. I would do background checks and lie detector tests.  There would be lengthy applications that must be filled out in triplicate.  References would be checked and hidden cameras installed.  If you want to have a relationship with her, you better be prepared to give her the best of everything you have.  I don't want to just hear you say that you love her; I want to know that you are committed to her.  I want to know that you would give your life for her.

Too often in my preaching I have tried to talk people into following Jesus.  I wanted to make following him as appealing, comfortable, and convenient as possible.  And I want to say that I am sorry.  I know it's strange to start off a book with an apology, but I want you to know that the journey I'm inviting you on is one that I've been traveling.  It's a journey I continue to be on, and I should tell you it hasn't been easy.  It was more comfortable being part of the crowd.

I know typically you put something in the introduction that makes people want to read the book.  You have a celebrity write it, or you have someone else write it so that person can tell all the readers how great the writer is. At the very least the author should write something in the introduction of a book that makes people want to read it.  I'm not sure if I've done that...probably not.  My guess is an apology from a man who got it wrong for a long time doesn't exactly inspire confidence.  But I just want to be clear that this book is not just information on a page or a pastors' commentary on the Scriptures.  This book is written by one of those in the crowd of John 6 who thought Jesus was great but was really in it for the free meals.

I hope you will read this book and discover with me what it really means to follow Jesus.  I will talk more about repentance than forgiveness, more about surrender than salvation, more about brokenness than happiness, and more about death than about life.  The truth is, if you are looking for a book about following Jesus that lays out a comfortable and reassuring path, you find it here.  Don't get me wrong, I want you to keep reading: I just want to be up-front and let you know there won't be a lot of free bread.         

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Now to some the preface may seem a little harsh and unbalanced but as I scanned through the chapters, It seems that the book is well rounded,  as encouraging as it is challenging, and I am looking forward to reading it.

If you have already read it please feel free to share your reviews. 

If this has peeked your interest, why not pick up a copy and read along with me and we can share our thoughts.

IF YOU WANNA GO FAST YOU GOTTA SLOW DOWN

Well it has been one month since I began my 36-4-36 challenge.  What a month it has been, I didn't expected much to transpire this first month, but the past 30 days have been full of surprises, blessings and lessons learned. What follows are some progress highlights.

#1) Lose AT LEAST 36lbs: So far success! I have lost some weight - 13lbs since June 15th, not sure how much of that is since September 9th, but hoping I can far surpass the 36lb goal over the next 11 months.

#6) Read AT LEAST 12 books of which 6 are not Academic/Theology:  I completed 3 books this first month.  "A THOUSAND SPLENDID SUNS" by Khaled Hosseini, this was my favourite of the 3 books, I actually finished reading it, through tears, sobbing as the story came to a close.  My favourite quote from the book was "A woman who will be like a rock in a riverbed, enduring without complaint, her grace not sullied but SHAPED, by the turbulence that washes over her." The second book I finished was "ROOM" by Emma Donoghue.  I started this one night before going to bed and finished it the next day.  It is a riveting story, told through the eyes and language of a 5 year old.  My favourite quote from this book, at least the one that caught my attention was "the little cards with numbers all over are called a lottery, idiots buy them hoping to get magicked into millionaires."  Finally I did read an academic book for my course called "UNDERSTANDING PEOPLE" by Dr. Larry Crabb.  I highlighted a lot of this book, too many good quotes to just share one. "Something is wrong when the message from a loving God to the people He created becomes more an academic treatise to be studied rather than a wonderful truth to be grasped and breathed." and "...the real culprit behind all non-organically caused human distress: a steadfast determination to remain independent of God and still make life work." Finally this quote "...They thereby avoid responsibility for facing the painful reality of confusion and helplessness...Facing wrong directions that are painful to realize and repenting of them is no longer at the exact centre of the change process. It is no longer minds that need renewal; it is rather some internal psychological condition for which we bear no responsibility (we are victims), which must be changed by a mystical operation of the spirit.  Active repentance is replaced by passive yielding "

#8) Give TV up for the year, plus a different thing for a month, each month: Giving up TV has been a remarkable thing.  It has allowed me to redeem the time and use it for more productive endeavours.  I am more inclined to remain visiting a little longer, go out and do something active, or simply read a good book. I gave up playing Settler's online for the month of October, again just another thing to distract me from more important things.

#9) Write & Mail a personal note of encouragement a day:  In the last 30 days, I have mailed 38 notes of Encouragement.  I was so touched when one of the recipients came to my home to tell me how it had arrived at the most perfect time, and touched her heart so deeply, that she cried for an hour!  God is so good, to place a person on my heart, and to provide me the words to share so that their hearts may be encouraged.

#10) Do a 3 day fast once a month: Completed and Lesson Learned.  Perhaps it was not so much a lesson learned, as a point driven home.  I have fasted in the past, in fact years ago I did a 40 day fast, where I drank only pure fruit juice and water. Some might think, wow what discipline, what spiritual fervour - if this is you - save your kudos.  In the interest of authenticity, that fast was a failure.  Sure I did not eat, and in fact I found it quite easy to not eat.  I never found myself consumed with thoughts of food.  After those 40 days I realized I had simply, though perhaps unconsciously, replaced eating with more work and more doing.  I kept my mind occupied, I was doing twice as much, going twice as fast. At the end of the fast, I wondered why I did not feel any different, why it seemed to have so little impact.  I knew better however, and I realized that the whole Fast was spiritually pointless, because I actually didn't consciously and consistently take the time to focus on God. While I never found myself consumed with thoughts of food, I also rarely found myself consumed with thoughts of God.  Not all my fasts have been such a dismal failure, but that one certainly was, and I was the only one to blame.  So this year, as part of my 36-4-36 challenge, I was committed to fasting properly, more consistently! Giving up food would not be as much of a challenge as giving up doing!  But I did - for 3 days my schedule and the menu was cleared. The difference was astonishing!  I was hungry, hungry for food and hungry for more of God.  My thoughts at the beginning were consumed with food, wanting to end the stomach pain that felt like someone was scraping the inside of my belly with a metal spoon, as if it were a pumpkin being removed of it's innards. It was a pain I never felt during my 40 days of not eating, but now felt after only 1 day of fasting and simply being.  As the days progressed, more and more my thoughts were consumed with God, with prayer, with being in His word. Did I have any mystical revelations, visions or experiences? NO, not to say that it couldn't happen. What I did experience was a phenomenal opportunity to focus more on God, to shift my attention away  from the things of this world that often consume me and place them on the only one that should.  Fasting in this way, has and will continue to serve as a disciplined way for me to develop a deeper understanding and closer walk with God.  That being said, over the next few months, as I continue the 3 day fasts, I will be seeking clear direction, and clarity of God's will, in a decision that I am struggling with.  Should I come to your mind, please feel free to pray for me with regards to this.  The lesson learned, the one I knew in my head, but hadn't adequately applied to my life is "If you wanna go fast, you gotta slow down."

#13) Memorize an entire chapter of the Bible: I decided on Proverbs 3, reasoning that I would do well to memorize it's sage advice, recall the encouragement, share the truth, and live the principals. I have memorized thus far verses  1-4.  I realize it is not a lot, but I am pacing myself so it is well hidden in my heart.

#16) Finish at least 6 required courses: I've submitted assignment 1 of 5 for my PSY277 course with Briercrest Univeristy,

#19) Invite 1 new and different person to church a month: I have done just this, and to my surprise each person has said yes.  More than this, one young woman that I met at the gym has been coming out to our church as well our young adults program for almost a month now and has even gone so far as to have her picture taken for our church directory.  I was telling my new friend Maria (see previous post) about our churches community dinner and movie night, and she said she would love to go. I then decided to invite her to a Sunday morning service, at which she excitedly agreed to attend, and also asked if she could take part in the Sunday morning Discipleship class I teach, explaining that she would like to get involved in a bible study as she has never made bible reading and bible study a priority and would like to pursue that more.

#27) Recycle: Everything was sorted into boxes in my storage closet/now a recycling room. I am not sure I got it all right, but I only had one little shopping bag of garbage at the end of the month, the rest was all recyclable.

#28) Volunteer at least twice a month: Started going back to Martha's Table, serving the homeless and transient of Kingston, food and love.  I love this ministry, such a privilege to be a part of it.

#31) Go to the gym at least twice a week for the year: So far so good, spin class and Kickboxing have been my go to classes.  However Spin Classes have been cancelled the last couple weeks, so I have taken it upon myself to climb the stairs in my building - 20 flights 160 stairs with 3.5 additional pounds in each hand.  The first time I ascended and descended the 20 flights twice, for 320 stairs up and 320 down. This past week I did it 3 times for 480 stairs in each direction.  Let me just share, that if you have flights of stairs, you do not need a gym membership, it was a grueling regime.  I have also begun walking each week with my friend.  First week we did 5km, this past week we did 7.5km.  I am looking forward to our upcoming weekend of hiking, as the trees create a cornucopia of colour.

#33) Do something just for me every two weeks: You wouldn't think this one would be hard for me, but it is.  I was delighted to receive a record player, something I had been trying to acquire for a few months now, so as a treat I took an hour or so, and went down to value village and picked me out some sweet vinyl.

Another delightful consequence of initiating my 36-4-36 list, is that others have contacted me, saying that they were encouraged to create their own lists, and have shared with me their challenges for the year!  What are you up to this year?  Consider joining us - maybe I will start a FB group where we can all encourage and support one another, share ideas, success stories, and challenges.

I remain so excited for what is going to unfold this year as a result of undertaking this challenge. For the ways that I am going to be stretched and grow closer to God, the ways I am going to be blessed, and hopefully be a blessing to others.

Kindness is Never Wasted

Q: What do Kickboxing, Spilled Sour Cream, Police Crashing Parties, Dan Akroyd and The Virgin Mary have in common?      A: My Day

And what a day it was!  It began with a sinking feeling of dread.  Which was brought on by the thought of having to get out of bed on a Saturday morning to get myself to the gym for an aerobic kickboxing class (the 2nd of two classes I committed to this week).   The class consisted of the instructor, myself and one other student, apparently everyone else was wise enough to stay in bed.  So for 50 minutes we kicked, punched, sweated, cramped, huffed and puffed our way through the class.  Kudos to the instructor for staying so positive and motivated with only two students, both of whom were less than adept at the class.

As I was leaving the gym, I caught up to the other student as we were walking out the main doors.  I made a joke about her wisdom in using the button to automate the opening of the doors, as our energy to do it manually was exhausted.  She then asked me where I resided. I told her where I lived and hen her the same.  She explained and then told me how the police arrived at her door the night before, because the 5 other people she shares the house with had a party and there were complaints.  She did not seem thrilled with this at all.  I offered to drive her home and she readily accepted.  In our conversations I suggested that if she was looking for a quieter place next year to let me know, as I know a place, that may be a little quieter. I went on to mention that it currently had a number of Christians living there - to which she exclaimed - "Oh my people!".  At that, I let her in on the fact that I was the chaplain at the school she attends and the Associate Pastor of the church down the road.  This led to more conversation and me showing her where our church was and inviting her to join us the next day for Sunday service.  To my delight she did indeed join us for Sunday service and then an afternoon together and dinner with the young adults.  In further discussion we agreed that it was certainly a God thing - a divine appointment that brought us together that day. 

The divine appointments did not end there however.  After the gym I went to a lovely baby shower for a couple from our church.  On the way home, I was exhausted and looking forward to lying down and doing nothing.  First I had to stop and pick up groceries for the supper I would be preparing the next day for 22 people.  When I finally pulled in to my apartment, I followed someone to our back parking lot.  As I watched them pull up to the curb, I wondered what they were doing, and then realized she had a vehicle full of groceries.

So with a box full of groceries myself I walked up and unlocked the door, my first thought was just to get my tired self up to my place, but instead I decided (perhaps hesitantly), to hold the door open for the woman as she carried in a couple loads of groceries.  When she arrived with the first round she thanked me, to which I responded no problem.  As soon as those words left mouth, it became a problem, as the large container of sour cream toppled out of the box I was holding and smashed into the hall carpet below, leaving sour cream seeping into the grooves of the all weather carpet mat.  The woman was apologetic as if she had picked it out of my box and thrown it to the ground herself. She was appalled that I would have to suffer so much for my kindness. I explained it was not a big deal, not to worry, I would simply run up to my apartment to get some cleaner to wipe it up.  As I made my way back down she was coming in with the 2nd and last load of groceries.  So I held the door and then continued to try to clean the sour cream out of the carpet.  As I did so, the woman took a seat on the step and started engaging me in casual conversation.  Which floor did I live on? Was I from Kingston?  Was I married? Did I have children?.  She shared that she was from Columbia but had been in Canada for a few years and was now facing some changes and did not really know anyone.  She then asked what I did for a living.  When I told her I was a pastor, she was pleasantly surprised, and then added that she herself was "very religious". She asked what church I served at and then inquired about what "Free Methodism" was.  She asked if I believed in the Virgin Mary and the Saints, and if I prayed to them. I told her that I did indeed believe in the Virgin Mary and the saints, but that I did not pray to them.  Following this - she invited me to her apartment for an authentic Colombian supper, saying we should continue our conversation, and without hesitation I agreed. As I wiped the last of the sour cream out of the grooves of the carpet, I offered to help her carry her groceries to her apartment.  As we sat the last of the bags down in her kitchen, I explained that I was going to go to my apartment to get cleaned up and would be back momentarily.

As I entered my apartment, I was suddenly startled by what I had done.  Who agrees to go to a complete strangers house for dinner on a moments notice?  Then crazy notions went  through my head; things like, what if she was a lesbian and was hitting on me, (and I just unwittingly committed myself to some sort of awkward date). Or what if she is a serial killer who is going to drug my food and leave me locked up in her apartment. I did say they were crazy thoughts. Obviously this was a situation way out of my comfort zone and not something I usually did. But I had already committed myself, so off I went to either my surprise or my demise.

Let me tell you, that it was an incredible evening!  She was a lovely lady with legitimate, incredible stories of her wealthy life in Columbia and an uncle about to be canonized by the Pope.  Stories of how Dan Akyrod was responsible for her coming to Canada.  The meal was delicious, the company delightful.

With supper over and I quite comfortable with the situation now, actually invigorated by it, I invited her to my apartment for tea and continued conversation. We talked about God for hours, the Virgin Mary, Prayer, The Holy Spirit, Reading the Bible.  She told me about her various spiritual experiences, shared about her Catholic faith and we discussed the different nuances in our beliefs.  She told me about her family back home, her recent struggles and her heartbreak. She asked for advice, asked lots of questions about faith and God and God's will.  At the end of the evening she left with my older, overly highlighted, back cover missing, Charles Swindol Study Bible and a copy of the Shack to read.  I explained that the Shack was not a theological diatribe, it was not fact, nor necessarily biblically accurate, but much like her appreciation for fine art, it painted a beautiful interpretation of the trinity that I thought she would appreciate.

There is so much more to tell, but for the sake of confidences I leave it at this.  I have made a wonderful new friend, who incidentally can teach me Spanish, and is also a fan of clean/healthy eating, which helps me to complete #26 of my 36-4-36 challenges.  These events have also been confirmation for me I think, for the subject of the book I am going to write in response to challenge #2.

My day ended, with God showing me how a little kindness and selflessness, no matter how insignificant, can not only bless your day, but perhaps your life and the life of someone else. No Amount of Kindness is ever Wasted.

I've accomplished quite a bit in the first 10 days of my 36-4-36 challenge.  Each day an encouragement card was mailed, I've been going to the gym, and being more intentional, more often, at choosing clean eating options. My books arrived from Indigo.  I invited a new person to church and they came (Technically a lot of new people I connected with at at college came but that just seems to easy) and I've been recycling both at home and work :D

355 days to go, and if giving up TV and investing more in God and people continues to provide results like I have seen already, I'm in for an incredible year.

Day 6 - Challenge #6 & a Free Pass 4 the Finale

It's day #6 in my 36-4-36 adventure so I decided to focus on challenge #6.  It's a great day!  Today I took all of the indigo cards that were generously gifted to me on my birthday and purchased some of the books I would be reading in order to fulfill this commitment.

I bought 5 books that qualify for the non-academic/theology category:  The one that I am most excited for I did not buy, as it has not been released yet: "Another Man's War: The True Story of One Man's Battle to Save Children in the Sudan"

I also purchased one book in the academic/theology category that I am very excited about: A Knock at Midnight: Inspiration from the Great Sermons of Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. by Clayborne Carson.

Starting out the challenge I am currently reading as my non-theology choice "A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini" and "Understanding People by Larry Crab" for academic reasons.

As I complete each book, I intend to blog a short review, sharing some of the highlights and best quotes without giving away too much.

 
Time to wrap up this post.  Tonight is my Free Pass.  The only opportunity I've had in the last 6 days to turn on the television & the last 1.5 hours I will have all year.  When I decided to give up TV for the year it was with the stipulation that I would watch the season finale of Big Brother.  Which may be pretty indicative of why someone should give up TV in the first place.  In fact I turned the TV on thinking that Big Brother started at 8pm EST but instead Survivor was on, and I must admit I was some tempted just to turn that 1.5 hours into 2.5, but I shut it off.  Who needs to see the season premiere, of something you won't get to watch.

Plus I have an encouragement card to send.

Insignificant but Important

What a great weekend. It is funny how a simple resolution towards change and betterment can make all the difference. I am not able to discern exactly what it was, but with the posting of my 36-4-36 list, there seemed to lift from me a heaviness of heart, a heaviness I did not recognize was even there.

Today I feel lighter. Perhaps it was the amazing weekend I just enjoyed. Initiated by a surprise party that brought together some of my favourite people from near and far. Friends who had in their wit and kindness, collectively created a card listing the 36 things they appreciated about me - Perhaps I am feeling lighter because my head is getting bigger.

I was uber blessed and completely surprised, to learn that in an effort to support me in my 36-4-36 endeavour, many of my friends had bought me indigo gift cards to use towards purchasing books to read in order to fulfill commitment #6. Others gifted me manicure & pedicure certificates towards commitment #21! I have had a friend offer to teach me to crochet a hat and another to knit a pair of slippers in order to fulfill #18. Another friend is going to lend me their racing bike to enter the Brockville Swim/Bike Duathlon next summer. I laughed when one friend suggested that the people present at my party should help me with commitment #3 by each finding one guy, to ask me out. Now that they are not burdened with my preferences, they can encourage anyone to step forward and I would have to say Yes as long as they love Jesus. They seemed to enjoy the fun they could have in that, perhaps a bit at my expense ;)

I'm excited that I get to share this experience with my friends, many of them joining me in some of the endeavours and others inspired to create and live out their own lists, all of them encouraging me and keeping me accountable!

It has been 4 days since I initiated the 36-4-36 list, and you wouldn't think I'd be experiencing any results as of yet, but I must say - that not having the TV on, has been liberating. I have found myself spending more time with friends, and visiting people, while my time at home is more relaxing and productive.

I have thus far, maintained my commitment to mailing an encouragement card out a day, plus have a few extra birthday cards that I am sending out, to random people.  Today at lunch instead of a burger I had a California club sandwich - avocado, black olives, havarti cheese, and sprouts on whole wheat bread - delicious and closer to that clean eating goal, although the fries may have to go next time ;)

If you are reading this and want to know how you could encourage me in this upcoming week - feel free to pray for me - for strength and commitment to get to the gym, I plan to go to spin on Friday and Cardio Kickbox on Saturday and pray as well for injury free sessions.

I also welcome any suggestions of what to give up each month-for a month, beginning in October. I need 12 things to take me through the year.

I know that none of this is going to change the world, but I recognize that it is important for a myriad of reasons for me to do it anyway. Looking forward to sharing with all of you, not only the progress but the blessings that come as a result.

36-4-36

Yay! Another year older, another year filled with God's grace and blessings! Though as I reflect on this past year, I find myself unimpressed with how I lived it. Not bad, just not great. I wasted away the precious days God had given me. Sure I can come up with excuses and justifications, but none that will give me those days back.

So today on my 36th birthday I am committed to living a great year, a year that I can look back on and be proud of. A year that I can look back on and know that I made a difference. A year that was about loving God, others and myself more! Hopefully a year that will catapult me into ongoing years of loving and living better!

I begin today, my 36th year with 36 goals to accomplish by Sept 9th 2012. This is my 36-4-36 list, in no particular order:

1) Lose AT LEAST 36lbs

2) Write a book

3) Go on a date with whomever ASKS, regardless of my preferences and lists. (As long as they love Jesus)

4) Get a family doctor, make an appointment and go

5) See Celine Dion in Las Vegas

6) Read AT LEAST 12 books of which 6 are not Academic/Theology

7) Finish the 2 paintings I have promised and then paint something for me

8) Give TV up for the year, plus a different thing for a month, each month

9) Write & Mail a personal note of encouragement a day (Send me your mailing addy and you will probably get a little something from me in the mail)

10) Do a 3 day fast once a month

11) Enter the Brockville Swim/Bike Duathlon next summer (Or any athletic or Artistic Competition)

12) Increase my tithe

13) Memorize an entire chapter of the Bible - I am thinking Proverbs 3 or Matthew 5

14) Spend a week in silence

15) Go to bed by 9pm and wake up at 5am for a month

16) Finish at least 6 required courses

17) Pay off existing Debt

18) Knit a pair of slippers and/or crochet a hat

19) Invite 1 new and different person to church a month

20) Plant an urban vegetable garden

21) Get a 1 day makeover: Haircut, mani, pedi, facial, new outfit. (A bunch of my girlfriends have individually asked to join me so perhaps this will turn into a girls day - that would be fabulous fun)

22) Enter a poetry slam competition

23) Send a sweet care package to someone/Surprise someone (who knows maybe it will be you)

24) Do the Reynold's James Interview Video

25) Enter open-mic at a Comedy Club

26) Learn a new language or instrument

27) Recycle (I know don't hate I have never been good at this, especially living in an apt)

28) Volunteer at least twice a month

29) Spend a weekend to a week with an old order Mennonite family

30) Unspoken

31) Go to the gym at least twice a week for the year

32) Move towards a 90% clean eating diet by years end

33) Do something just for me every two weeks

34) Give blood & Get life Insurance

35) Play 18 holes of Golf (Again friends have asked to join me, so this may become a great group day)

36) Foster

I have also created a few alternatives, in case some of the above become improbable or unlikely due to circumstances beyond my control or if additional funds, time or opportunity become available I can do these in addition or save them for my 37-4-37 List: A) Have a midnight starlight dance party; B) Go camping; C) Get SCUBA Certified; D) Get Motorcycle License; E) Take an Art or Dance Class; F) Drive Less-Bike/Walk More G) Foodie Road Trip H) Be intentional about building relationships with ppl in my complex

I am sharing this list in part as an encouragement I expect good things to transpire form this and look forward to sharing how God works in and through it all.

If you have suggestions for things to give up each month, any input, opinions or encouragement feel free to leave comments below.

AGAIN SEND ME YOUR MAILING ADDRESS IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE A LITTLE SOMETHING IN THE MAIL - I GOT 364 to GO :D

Lost Loved Ones?

This past Christmas, our family did something a little bit different. It was decided that we would buy one gift and then do a white elephant gift exchange. This is where someone picks a gift and then the next person can either pick a gift that has not been opened or steal someone's gift. I was not a fan of this idea, but since most others were, I went along with it.

I realized that this would be a perfect opportunity for me to do something I had wanted to do for a long time. I only had to buy one gift, but really wanted to get my siblings and parents something as well. So I went out and bought them each a devotional and a suitable bible. No one in my family attends church, nor is born again, so had I bought them bibles and devotionals as a Christmas gift in years past they would not have been impressed and probably disappointed. Since however, they were not expecting a gift this year, I figured they would at least appreciate the additional effort.

I was hoping that at some point in their lives, they would be led to pick up the bible and read it. Perhaps at a low point in their life, or at the birth of a new baby. I knew God could do a good work in the hearts of my family, and believed he was, I was just not as sure if they were ready or would ever be ready to surrender to that working.

So how shocked was I when my youngest sister called me a week or so ago, to tell me she had been reading the devotional and bible I got her and that she had some questions. I was astounded, and excited. She wanted to to know "what is it to YOU to be a Christian and then what is it to the bible, as far as stuff that is not suppose to be done or considered sinful" She also asked "So in your eyes in comparison to the bible is it a sin to have intimate relations before marriage - that's what I chose to give up for lent" This made me laugh but also overwhelmed me to see the way God was working in her heart.

A couple days later I got a Facebook message that she had gone to church on Sunday morning and then again in the evening, not realizing the evening service was a prayer meeting, which she said she really enjoyed. We talked some more and then she shared some of her journal entries. I asked her permission to share one with you today, because I think it is beautiful but more than that it is honest and real.

My devotional heading for today read " LIVE FOR CHRIST " I try to find meaning in today's reading but nothing jumps out at me. I put the book down feeling lonely, sad and then call my sister at 10:30pm who I was suppose to call at 6 but didn't. We talk a lot. I write down some of the things she says. She thinks I should read a book called THE SHACK by W.P Young and then she told me a story of how GOD spoke to her - going to look up the song Long Black Train. The only other thing that I wrote down that she said were these three words: Admit, Believe, Confess. I got off the phone with her and began to speak with GOD and came to the conclusion that I am not even ready to Admit that I can't live without HIM yet. I cried. I'm stubborn, and a control freak, and I'm not ready to relinquish control even though I want to. I tell HIM that I am on the path to trying even though the only thing standing in my way is me and my conflict within myself - My doubt or questioning. Due to crying I couldn't sleep so I picked up my book " God Knows My Name" The first thing I read was "Declare a holy fast; call a sacred assembly. Summon the elders and all who live in the land to the house of the Lord, your GOD, and cry out to the Lord" Joel 1:14. More tears flow as I think about my sister and the talk we just had. I read on "wake up you drunkards and weep!" drunkards suggests a self indulgent lifestyle pursued by those who value material things over spiritual. I then decide to begin writing and now you (my journal and GOD) have the first two pgs. on my journey to my ABC's

For some who may be shocked or even appalled that I suggested she read the Shack, I explained that it was fiction, and while not necessarily great theology, it painted a beautiful interpretation of the trinity, that she would appreciate and may help in understanding the persons of God.

I write today's post as an encouragement, for everyone who has friends and family who have not yet experienced God's saving grace. For those who pray and wait and pray some more that their loved one's would know in a personal and real way the love, grace and mercy of our Heavenly Father, keep Hope in your heart and Prayers on your lips. Never stop praying! More than the words you say, let them see your witness, of a life transformed, a life well lived. Know that God is at work and God's grace, the prevenient grace that draws all people, does not discriminate against anyone.

I also write this as a reminder to all of us who have been walking with the Lord for some time. May our hearts be as tender today as they were when we first heard His whisper. May we be authentic and honest, searching our hearts, eager to surrender any "sin" in our lives. May we be as bold and passionate today as we were when we first began this journey. May we remember that first love and may it invigorate us and spur us on to great things for God's glory.

There is much more to this story, God continues to work in amazing ways in not only my youngest sisters heart but in each member of my family, and I am excited to share those stories with you as they unfold.

Don't Mistake My Meekness For Weakness

A couple girlfriends and I get together Wednesday nights to share our victories and defeats from the week, to encourage and enable each other, to pray and to study God's word.  We have been doing Erwin McManus' video podcast series on the Beatitudes.  This week's was on being meek. "Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth." ~Matthew 5:5

I looked up the definition of meekness as there was some question as to how it differs from humility. Simply stated, meekness is the reluctance to assert oneself.  Which is in essence a fruit of humility.

I loved the illustration Erwin provided of a stallion - wild, snorting, powerful - who when brought under submission is still as equally powerful but is now obedient, he has harnessed that power.  Erwin was making the point that meekness is not weakness.  Meekness is simply power under control. Meekness is using the power we have to empower not overpower others.

Meekness is what Christ exhibited in the garden of Gethsemane when Judas came with the Temple guard to arrest him. He had the power to call down the angels to protect Him, and yet He chose not to use it. "Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels? But how then would the Scriptures be fulfilled that say it must happen in this way?" ~Matthew 26:53-54.  Instead, He exhibited His power by miraculously re-attaching the severed ear of the Guard which had been sliced off by Peter's sword.

It takes great strength to bridal our power - to place ourselves in what others may perceive as positions of weakness.   There have been times in my life, where I had the power, the right and the ability to assert myself, but chose not to. Instead I decided to let it go - to submit and trust that God is in control. I have learned and in truth am still learning, that when we relinquish our power and control and submit to God, it is then that we experience true strength and the power of God can work through us. "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." ~2 Corinthians 12:9

It's interesting that the promise for the meek is that they will inherit the earth.  Experience, scripture and reason supports this promise.  God wants to give us the world, proverbially speaking.  His dreams are much bigger than anything we can dream for ourselves.  So it stands to reason that when we submit our will to God's, when we bridal our power so that His can reign it is then that we will inherit all that He has in store for us, both on earth and in heaven.

Pride & Pedastals.

It's been a few days since I've written a post - that was intentional.  I felt that with all that I had going on last week, and not feeling so well, that I would take a break from blogging.  It was great, it cleared my mind and allowed me to focus on the moment and there were a lot of great moments!  I received my Indian VISA, I spent time with some great people, and I just spent time being really present.

 

Ashamedly, however, they were not all good moments.  I had an experience on my way to pick up my VISA on Saturday, that spurred some reflection.  I was driving the 401 to Toronto and back for the 2nd time that week.  I drive a lot and have been driving a lot for more than half my life.  As a result of that and the fact that my dad was a driver in the Air Force and taught me everything he knows, I consider myself a pretty skilled driver.  So here I was, getting overly annoyed with those who appeared to be less than adept drivers.  People who did not drive at least the speed limit, people who did not use their signal to indicate a turn or lane change and people who rode their brakes were frustrating me to the point I heard myself saying out loud "Really?" in disbelief. 

Then I realized - it was only 17 years ago that I was the person who drove tentatively, the one who forgot to signal, or who made improper lane changes or continually rode the brake.  How soon we forget.  

I've also experienced this in Christian circles, not in reference to driving, but in how we can easily forget how far we have come in our spiritual walk and fall into the trap of judging others. Not growing up in a Christian home, I thought myself perhaps immune from the temptation to judge others, being able to identify with them.  However the longer I'm a Christian and the more I grow in wisdom, and experience,  the more I seem to face the temptation to put myself above others, and to get frustrated with the behaviours of those who simply are less experienced or less informed. This I believe is one of the most dangerous places we can be as Christians, it's a place you get to by way of pride.  Be wary of the proverbial pedestal you may find yourself upon.  It's just when you think you have made it or you think you know all there is to know about something, that life has a way of opening your eyes as to just how far you still have to go, and how little you really know. "For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you." ~Romans 12:3

Half way home, again, I found myself annoyed by the 3 expensive cars that passed me at alarming speeds.  I was unimpressed, condemning them, and considering calling 911. Then I noticed my own speed and realized that while I was not going as fast as they were, I certainly wasn't doing the speed limit.  It was an obvious plank in my own eye moment.  Here I was so concerned about someone else's wrong doing, that I had completely ignored or even justified my my own. "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." ~ Matthew 7:3-5

"Pride is a sin in us by nature; we need to be cautioned and armed against it."  When speaking of Pride and Pedastals, I am reminded of this cliche but trustworthy saying "Pride comes before a Fall."

A Conversation with the Devil

"Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, "Did God really say, 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden'?" The woman said to the serpent, "We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, 'You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.' " "You will not surely die," the serpent said to the woman.  "For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil."~Genesis 3:1-5

 

Another great episode of LOST entitled "The Last Recruit".  Tonight, Jack came face to face with Faux Locke other wise known as the Man in Black.  He engaged in conversation with him, wherein Locke challenges what He has come to believe, contradicts what Jacob has already told him and advices him that in essence Jacob is trying to deceive Him. He suggests that it would be in Jack's best interest to gather the candidates and leave the island with him. Through  many of the Season 6 episodes, we see The Man in Black constantly planting these seeds of doubt in the minds of the candidates, clearly reminiscent of the depiction of how Satan works in the hearts and minds of people. 

Soon after Jack is reunited with his sister, she shares her delight that Jack would be leaving the island with them, to which Jack responds he had not made that decision as of yet. The next line is the one that stood out for me. Claire's response to her brother Jack was  "You decided the moment you let him [Man in Black] talk  to you - whether you like it or not you are with us now".  

Compromise begins with the first conversation.  This "what not to do" was exampled for us from the very beginning. Eve entered into conversation with Satan about whether or not she should eat the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.  She was clearly advised by God himself of what not to do, but entertained the ideas of the devil, and got entangled in his deceitful plot of destruction.  So too, do we risk getting caught up in the plans of the enemy the moment we entertain ideas or opportunities we know are contrary to God's will and plan.  Satan tries ever so subtly but cleverly to engage us in conversation through our thoughts, other people, situations and our emotions, in order to see us defy the plans of God.

All this being said, let us not give Satan to much credit.  God gave us a brain, and He gave us Christ through whom we can overcome all things. We can be assured that  even though we may falter, and fall, we are not left trapped in the schemes of the enemy.  Hurley makes the statement to Sawyer "you can go to the dark side and you can come back to the light." 2 Peter 2:9 reads "then the Lord knows how to rescue the godly from temptation". Again we read in 1 Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it". When we turn to God for help He his faithful to provide us a way out of our struggles and temptation, if we so choose to take it. 

As LOST comes to a conclusion, we are relieved to see Jack jump from the boat, taking a literal leap of faith into the ocean swimming back to the island and so defying the plans of the "Man in Black." The man of science converting to a man of faith, placing His trust in Jacob.